I miss your warmth, your reassuring smile, your perfume that I inhaled every time I gave you a hug, but most of all I miss all that is you. You are still very much alive, and I am so thankful for that. However my grandma is lost and captured by age and bi-polar, and left behind is a woman that resembles my grandmother. I know you are in there somewhere, and I just need to take a minute to tell you how incredibly lucky I am to have you in my life.
Without you, my childhood would have been so much different. Your home was home to me… there was no other place in the world like it. Just by walking through the door, I immediately felt warmth, so much love and so safe. You were so much more than a grandma, you knew life hadn’t dealt me and sister a good hand, and you were determined to shower us with so much love that when we were with you we forgot about all the chaos at home. When I think back to the bright spots of my childhood, you and grandpa were always there and it was you who created the brightness.
Life at your house was the closest I have felt to heaven. Ice cream at night with Grandpa, story time with you and then being waken up with one of your amazing back rubs. I have memories of dressing up in your square dancing dresses, playing restaurant with you as our waitress, or playing jacks on the kitchen floor. There was never a dull moment at your house. You spoiled us, but most of all you made us feel loved and we never felt safer.
I remember dreaming of being just like you when I grew up. You were so glamorous with your red fire bird, and you had a smile that would light up a room. To me you and grandpa were the very definition of true love. I loved watching you play tennis at the Racquet Club, and loved watching you get ready to go Square Dancing with grandpa.
I love you so much and I am so thankful that I got you as my grandma. You are amazing, and I hope you find your way back.